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At the age of ten life seems simple, it's all about running jumping and climbing trees. By eighteen you have discovered the opposite sex, alcohol and nightclubs. By twenty five you are your own person, confident and full of life. Suddenly you hit thirty. You find yourself questioning your choices from the years that have past, feeling slightly left on the shelf, wondering where your life is heading, juggling family and friends and faced with ever aging parents. You are not alone, welcome to 30 years and countinga sideways look at life in your thirties.

Weddings, weddings, weddings. A man's view of the big day.

About eight o’clock  this morning I woke up suddenly from a dream and still half asleep I had a wonderful idea for a blog post. However I then promptly rolled back over and slept for another hour or so before waking up again and having no clue what that great idea was. It has been bugging me ever since. You know what it is like when there is a memory at the edge of your brain but you just can’t recall it? It is a bit like when you put something in a safe place so it won’t get lost and then can’t remember where that safe place was. I am sure it will come back to me at some point but for now I guess I am just going to have to write about something else and so here is a post about weddings instead.

Why weddings you ask? Well there are a number of reasons. Firstly the subject of weddings has been a hot topic in my life for the last few months. We have had the royal wedding of course pushed down our throats here in the UK non-stop since it was announced a few months ago (see this post and this one for my views on the subject). Secondly we are attending a wedding this weekend. One of Maz’s cousins is getting married. Thirdly my good friend Jacqui is getting married next year and so naturally I have been talking about it with her. Finally I published a guest post yesterday from Miss Smidge (find it here if you haven’t read it already) which mentioned weddings and the importance of being married to women in their thirties. It seems then that I just can’t escape the subject at the moment so I might as well throw my opinion into the mix.

I suppose I should answer the big question first; do I want to get married? Well yes I would happily get married but I don’t see it as something I must do. Personally I would rather be with someone and just be happy for the rest of my life than be married and be unhappy just for the sake of being married. In fact I have reached the age where a number of my friends have been married and are now either divorced or getting divorced for one reason or another.

I do think that a lot of people get married for the wrong reasons. I know some who have married because they have had children and although the relationship is clearly not right have done so just because they feel they should. I know others who have got married just because their partners wanted to do it and I know others still who have done it because they think that it will somehow fix a broken relationship or that the other person will change once they are married. Others still have taken the plunge simply because they want that fairytale wedding day complete with the big dress and church. Regardless of the choices of others I feel that marriage should only be entered into to show you commitment and love to the your respected spouse rather than in an attempt to fix something or the feeling that you must.

On the subject of churches that is another thing which really annoys me; people who have no religious views but feel they have to get married in a church. Often this requires you to attend church a number of times in advance and to make promises to the vicar before they will perform the ceremony. Now of course if you are religious and believe that a church wedding is for you then I have no problem with that. Everyone is entitled to their own spiritual beliefs whatever they maybe but it is the people who do it just because a church looks nice or is traditional that I have issues with. For me if you are going to stand in a church and make promises to a vicar in the name of a particular god then you should mean them. Otherwise in my opinion you are just making a joke out of others who do hold such beliefs.

So what is important to me if and when my big day arrives? Well naturally I want a big white dress and a carriage made of diamonds pulled by six white ponies. Okay maybe not. What is important to me is that my chosen spouse is there and other than that I don’t really care. For me a wedding is about showing my commitment to her. It is the act of getting married that is important not how it is done or where. Now of course this is not to say I wouldn’t like a proper wedding surrounded by friends and family where everyone has a great time rather that it is not the most important thing to me. I have been to many weddings in my life. Some rather cheap and simple and others full-blown over the top no budget cap ones. In my experience it is usually the smaller ones which are better because it is not about how everything looks but rather how everyone feels that matters.

Weddings then. Yes I would like to have one but a simple one and if it never happens then it won’t be the end of the world. As long as I am lucky enough to have someone as wonderful as Maz in my life then I am happy. Besides her eyesight and sense of smell are bound to return at some point which means my luck will be up.

So what is your take on marriage? Is it really that important and when it comes to the big day what things really matter to you? Drop me a comment below and let me know.

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