The royal wedding. Who cares?
As if my average day of disappointingly searching through job sites, playing poker on the Xbox 360, cleaning up, cooking and watching daytime television was not exciting enough today an electrician came round to put a new light in the bathroom. As is the great English tradition I offered him a cup of tea and as he sipped it we made polite small talk about that other great English tradition; the weather. After ten minutes of chat about how unusually hot it was our rather difficult conversation turned to the subject of that latest all encompassing news story of the moment, the royal wedding.
Now unless you have been living under a rather large rock for the last month (and even then I doubt you would have escaped from the news) you will be aware that Prince William is getting married to his university sweetheart Miss Catherine Middleton (there is even an official website just in case you missed it). Well good luck to them I say and I hope it all works out for them. Providing the young Kate doesn’t piss the Queen off and stays out of Paris all should go well. But as the country and even the world whips itself up into a mad frenzy I can’t help but ask; who really gives a shit?
Certainly our electrician friend didn’t. As he pointed out he would be spending the wedding rewiring some guys bedroom. After all he is self-employed and no one is going to pay him to have the day off. Likewise I don’t really know anyone who is doing anything special to mark the event. Sure there are plenty of Union Jacks flying and every now and again you walk past some old lady’s house with a picture of the royal couple’s faces cut out from The Sun newspaper stuck in the window but that is really about it. Personally Maz and I are going down the pub to celebrate Tom leaving his job and to be honest I am much more looking forward to sinking a few pints that watching millions of taxpayer’s pounds being marched down the streets of London.
Two things are really pissing me off about the whole thing. Firstly the country has been flooded with American news reporters who keep going on about how wonderful it is and secondly that everyone keeps saying that Kate is the new Princess Diana. If the Americans love our royals that much maybe we should sell them to the yanks. Our country’s economy is pretty screwed at the moment and I’m pretty sure we could get a few million for them. Maybe they could put them on display somewhere? As for Kate being the new Di I really don’t get it. We seem to hold Princess Diana in such high regard that anyone would think that she farted pound coins and was made of chocolate filled with tea. This country went a bit crazy when she died as if we had all suddenly lost our best friend. In reality it was more like watching an episode of Friends and seeing Ross gunned down by a sniper in the coffee shop. We were all kind of left going “WFT? I was watching that.”
I do honestly hope that the happy couple have a long and wonderful marriage (although if previous royal weddings are anything to go on I wouldn’t hold your breath). I just don’t understand why the world’s press is going so crazy over it. Now if they had broadcast the stag do I would have tuned in for that. Surely any party organised by a royal who thinks that dressing as a Nazi is good idea for a laugh is well worth a watch. You missed a trick there BBC.
